Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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