Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Randomize
