When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
