wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize