somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
