so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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