So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
