Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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