its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
