I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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