your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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