You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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