And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
