I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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