his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
