got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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