Texts From Last Night

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  (905): View more from Toronto

  So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises

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  (905): So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises http://tfl.nu/ed2j
  Replies (15) Good night (1585) Bad night (761)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.

  (1-253): View more from Washington

  I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.

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  (253): oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body. (1-253): I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate. http://tfl.nu/e4ca
  Replies (71) Good night (5629) Bad night (593)
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  (562): View more from California

  tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will

  (714): View more from California

  and a girl gets the red ring of death every month

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  (562): tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will (714): and a girl gets the red ring of death every month http://tfl.nu/ybz8
  Replies (59) Good night (6024) Bad night (1346)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.

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  (214): He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome. http://tfl.nu/msec
  Replies (10) Good night (4491) Bad night (746)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.

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  (317): fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked. http://tfl.nu/j4lz
  Replies (7) Good night (749) Bad night (3810)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  my dad is going to jail this weekend

  (1-602): View more from Arizona

  where are we going to get our weed from?

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  (602): my dad is going to jail this weekend (1-602): where are we going to get our weed from? http://tfl.nu/lw00
  Replies (22) Good night (2214) Bad night (6520)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.

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  (517): I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again. http://tfl.nu/bm5p
  Replies (12) Good night (8001) Bad night (1126)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster

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  (206): it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster http://tfl.nu/ujaf
  Replies (15) Good night (3391) Bad night (1111)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious

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  (813): I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious http://tfl.nu/g6os
  Replies (3) Good night (1625) Bad night (718)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets

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  (516): i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets http://tfl.nu/efkf
  Replies (6) Good night (2683) Bad night (697)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.

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  (804): I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years. http://tfl.nu/h8vw
  Replies (8) Good night (1942) Bad night (744)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.

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  (519): There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause. http://tfl.nu/1uor
  Replies (0) Good night (614) Bad night (673)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out

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  (519): Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out http://tfl.nu/ezsq
  Replies (18) Good night (2275) Bad night (520)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.

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  (908): This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing. http://tfl.nu/q3t5
  Replies (2) Good night (601) Bad night (229)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH

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  (561): I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH http://tfl.nu/vnp7
  Replies (1) Good night (409) Bad night (145)

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