Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.