Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick