Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
she was concerned about my dick piercings.