maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
