What a fucking waste of an outfit
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
