Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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