Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
