careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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