She announced her abortion via fbk
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize