So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Everything about him screamed your future.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
