My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize