There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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