Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize