One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
