Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
