Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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