I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
