Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm passing your future prison.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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