i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
