idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
PANTIES FOUND
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