that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
