and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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