he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
