I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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