Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
