i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I'm really busy with my period
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