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I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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