So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
