im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Im part way to drunk.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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