Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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