remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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