Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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