they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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