i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
