Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
