you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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