You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Blood and glitter go together right?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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