turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
