Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
