SEEEEXXX PLEASE
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
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answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
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Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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