I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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