I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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