Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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