I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
