Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
