is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
