Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
