I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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