can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
