you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
