So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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