question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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