they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
